You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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