Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
are you so shy because you have an std?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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