so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
