and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Randomize
