All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
