So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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