Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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