At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
