I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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