after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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