hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
