My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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