Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
my sisters under your porch take her home
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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