I CAN MOONWALK!
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
