I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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