we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
