Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
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