i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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