haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
