I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
