No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
