you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
