yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
