If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
