like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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