its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
