I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
