your parents love me but you hate me
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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