i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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