he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
