Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
