If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
