My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
