Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
