your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
