Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
