you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
