i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
