Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
