And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
