ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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