She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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