Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
