it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
