Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
