Just mADE A PArabola og urine
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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