so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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