Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
