You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
