I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
